Definition: A male or pseudo-male incorrigibly attracted to the lights, camera, and Hollywood of another male or pseudo-male, particularly one of perceived celebrity status.
Hello. This blog entry will be petty. Anyway, I would like to discuss what a friend of mine coined as the "Moupie Phenomenon".
A Moupie, is as previously defined, a male whom for all intents and purposes jocks the hell out of another dude. Typically you find moupies in clubs. They are usually the one standing shoulder to shoulder with the "hype man" or the promoters for the night, but they don't know them. They may be standing in the front of the club with the promoter pretending like they are checking IDs. The most notorious moupies are in the DJ booth. What do they do? Well nothing really. The goal for the night is to bask in the glow of the "host male" (get it? Parasite? Host?).
Last night I was out at an unnamed club with a group of people who will also remain nameless. Here comes a Moupie. He stood so close to me that I could feel the heat from his body. He put his body between me and the "host male". Every time the "host male" leaned over to say something to me the Moupie leaned in to hear. I asked the host male if he knew this particular Moupie and he didn't. If the host male danced with a girl, as soon as he left the Moupie went to dance with her. Do you see where I'm going with this? To utilize my DC lingo, "bammas is jive pressed young," trying to slide in next to folks like they are the 5th member of Jodeci. I mean seriously. I had the straight face for him all night. Okay if I go on any more, I will begin got get personal. Instead I will help you guys weed yourselves out. If you fit more than half of these criterions please re-adjust your life for the sake of humanity. You my friend are a Moupie if:
1. The table you are sitting at taking pictures isn't yours, your boys, your cousin's...Matter of fact you came to the club alone buddy.
2. You are in 349 of 350 pictures from the club website. Oh no you're not posing in all of them. You look like the chick from the GRUDGE. Remember they had all those pictures and you could see a glimpse of her in each one? Photobucket
That's you!!!
3. You get into a shoving match with a group of females because you can't get to VIP.
4. The promoters trying to count money or talk business and here you go trying to have a conversation. They don't know you but you are a customer so they are humoring you. They are talking amongst themselves and you keep tapping them. Hey guess what don't tap another grown ass man on the shoulder just don't do that. As a matter of fact don't tap me either!
5. You were crying at the Jay Z concert.
6. You follow the "host male" to the bathroom.
7. Dude is on the mic and you tapping him to get his attention. He turns to you; you reach out your hand and dap him up. Are you serious?
8. You're in the DJ booth and you don't have a mic in your hand, you are not behind turn tables. You are not providing a mix of old or new school hip hop. The DJ only knows you because you are ALWAYS in the DJ booth.
9. You are standing on the sofa hollering out another dude's name.
10. You are reading thiS and getting in your feelings.
Im sure some of yall reading this can give me a list of names. Do what you do and CALL EM OUT. No just jokes this is a friendly blog no blasting here. But I mean really pull your boots up fellas. There are enough female groupies we don't need males too!
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