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| Ladies: 5 Ways You Try Too Hard |
by TC |
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1) Dressing like a slut- dressing like a video hoe or a downtown hooker isn't gonna make a man want to wife you. It isn't gonna make a man want to get to know you. It's gonna make a man wanna have sex with you real hard for 10 minutes, take some nude camera phone pics of you, and that's it. Sexiness comes from within. (A phat ass doesn't hurt, but it mostly comes from the way you carry yourself) Ain't nothing wrong with your little black dresses ladies, but when you
start dressing like you are working a car show, or like you are gonna be in the next T.I. Video, that's when you lose.
2) Being insecure- Look, it's not my fault that your last boyfriend had sex with your best friend, your cousin, and your co worker behind your back. I wish that had never happened, and I'm sorry you had to go through that. But please don't try so hard to protect yourself from future heartbreaks that you miss out on a good thing! Trying to
keep tabs on your man like a human GPS system, going through his phone, and not trusting him will do more damage than good, trust me. And please stop stalking the Facebook and Myspace profiles of every woman that writes on his wall or leaves him a comment, your starting to scare me.
3) Being an attention whore- If you have to FORCE someone to notice you, that's a problem in itself. You don't have to frisk around, or be the loudest thing in the room to gain a man's attention, so sit your ass down somewhere and just be yourself. I blame Paris Hilton and the entire MTV & VH1 for the increase in attention whorage in the past 3 years.
4) Trying to prove that you don't NEED a man- Look Sista Soulja, I understand that you are independent, and can take care of yourself. But all the standoff-ish, confrontational, bitter antics are not attractive. You say "men ain't sh*t," and that all the good men are either taken or gay. The truth is, you just haven't come across a man who you "click" with yet. Just because you haven't yet met the right one for you, doesn't mean that the entire male gender isn't worth a
damn. Have some patience, and get your mind right for when you DO find mister right. Cut that bitter ish out, before you end up like that old lady in your neighborhood that doesn't do anything but mind everybody else's business because she doesn't have any of her own.
5) Have some patience- Stop turning every guy you meet into a future marriage candidate. Go wit the flow and let things work out on their own, you scare men off when you start making future plans on your second date. Don't put the full court press on a dude too quickly, and don't start thinking of baby names after ya'll have only gone out a few times. Let him chase you for a while, we like that sh*t, cause like Pac said, "I don't want it if it's that easy..."
***Fellas did I miss anything?
***Ladies what ways do men FAIL?
Leave your response in the comment section!! |
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submitted: 07/06/09
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-KonstantinMiller |
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submitted: 06/18/09
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submitted: 06/18/09
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submitted: 06/17/09
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-wefrg |
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submitted: 06/15/09
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-wdesfr |
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submitted: 06/04/09
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I really liked this post. Can I copy it to my site? Thank you in advance.
-AndrewBoldman |
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submitted: 01/19/09
ALL MY LADIES OUT THERE!!!!!!! CHANGE IS AROUND THE CORNER FOR THE 09....NEW PRESIDENT.....DO I NEED SAY MORE....... IVE BEEN WATCHIN CLOSELY FOR SUM YEARZ NOW AND YOUR SENSE OF IDENTITY IS FADEIN AWAY. I PRAY..............
-harleyda3rd |
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submitted: 11/03/08
To me men fail when they lie about little things that you dont even care about, seriously I mean if you are going to lie about your age or name, that either means A) you have secrets,or B)If it is that easy for you to tell little white lies you will lie about what is important like if you have a girl,like guys sometimes or just a plain loser. which can hurt the both of us in the long run.and C) you are jus running game.
*telling the truth goes a long way even if it is not what we want to hear, the most we can say is at least he was man enough to tell me. give su extra points., that way when it comes out whatever it may be you guys have the upper hand to say I told you in the beginning that is our choice to choose to mess with you or not.
*peace!
-Michelle L. |
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submitted: 10/16/08
Haahaha now that's funny. Attention whores r the worst. me and a couple of my friends went 2 Love 1 night and it was this young lady, she had on a Marilyn Monroe dress and she walked across the room like she was on a runway. She turned side 2 side,vogued, looked everyone that was in her view up and down...turned her back and strutted off again. She just knew she was ON! I chuckled 2 myself and said Wooooo, this is 2 MUCH! LOL
-Meka |
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submitted: 10/15/08
Please add- Stop trying to wife him after 1 week. Men have figured out that most woman are so pressed for a relationship that they dont have to bring their A game, at all!!!!! Stop trying to impress him and win him over, giving him access to you, keys, meals, sex, everything, and you dont even know him. Then get mad when you found out who he really is and was all the time!!!!!!! Woman have forgotten the art of dating and letting a man pursue you sometimes.
-SNA |
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submitted: 10/10/08
And Ladies if you stop view "sex" as someting that your giving up, and more as a mutual experience that your just going to enjoy. You can stop feeling like the "victim" all the time.. Don't do anything unless it's for yourself.. If your laying on your back trying to get a man to love you, well then honey get up, cuz that ish isn't going to happen.. Next time you spread them legs make sure it's cause that's wtf you wanted to do at the moment, make sure you get pleased and are pleased. And then the next day don't analyze it like "I wonder if he really likes me" "What does it mean" "OMG I can't believe I just did that" and damn sure don't have some regrets (unless it was horrible lol) Go home take a shower and smile at the Big O I hope you got and keep it moving.. Don't become a stage 5 clinger overnight.. Ya Dig!
-C |
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submitted: 10/02/08
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Oh..I forgot....as for #1 on this post...SO TRUE! And the number one offending supplier is American Apparel with them damn leggings chicks think are pants-worthy....THEY ARE NOT!!!! PLEASE, LADIES, no more metallic asses. Thanks much.
-Foxxi3Staxx |
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submitted: 10/02/08
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Hmmm, we could be here all day, so I'm just going to touch on a couple things. Alot of our problems as women, come from the fact that, as Les stated, we refuse to be realistic about what we have on our hands. If your prospective man is cheap, a thug, a deadbeat dad to his other children, if he's rude, inconsiderate, has a wandering eye, bad credit, is uneducated, etc.....all these things are REAL PROBLEMS TO BE ADDRESSED IMMEDIATELY....NOT TO BE REPAIRED BY YOU. They may not be physically tangible, but you do YOURSELVES a disservice by accepting (or rather, settling for) qualities you know you don't want, and are going to have to trick yourself into believing don't exist (until they get to huge to ignore.) I personally have a 2-3 month grace period. At the end of that period (or prior if necessary), if I see things I don't want in a partner, or things that I feel myself wanting to be the arbiter of change for, I get LOW. 2 months is a good amount of time to judge if you're signing on for a good thing, if you decide you're interested. At the end, if you stay and ignore red flags, all your woes lie on YOU.
As for fellas, my biggest pet peeve is the lack of iniative taken to treat a woman who represents herself as one, like a WOMAN. Women NEVER STOPPED liking flowers, cards for no reason, dinner we didn't have to make or buy, impromptu phone calls/texts, etc. TAKE SOME INITIATIVE. BE A GENTLEMAN ("thugs/goons" are highly overrated in our culture). BE CREATIVE. BE MOTIVATED. BE YOURSELF AND NOT SOMEONE YOU SAW ON BET. And lastly, PLEASE stop thinking every woman you meet wants to get into your pockets. I personally don't care what you drive, how much your sunglasses cost, whether you drink Henny or Veuve Cliquot..you aren't paying my mortgage or school loan (and even if you were, that doesn't guarantee you JACK). Generosity is valued, but I want a partner, not a man who shows himself to be an ATM from the gate. Act like a trick and you'll be treated like one. I, myself, would rather have a MAN.
-Foxxi3Staxx |
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submitted: 09/24/08
THE MEN OF TODAY DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO TREAT A LADY IE. CALL FOR A DATE EARLY IN THE WEEK, OPEN THE CAR DOOR, BRING FLOWERS,BE A GENTLEMAN ON THE DATE.
-DENISE |
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submitted: 09/18/08
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6) Stop attracting Ain't Sh__ N_ggas- you knew good and well that the bama was useless when you met him but you figured 'YOU' could change him. Don't try to create a good man and then complain cuz he's being who he always was. It doesn't take long to figure it out unless your thirstyness makes you blind.
-lesjohnson |
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submitted: 09/18/08
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Darwin' are right' just like you must do your home work' and take our time with person that come in your life' that a must' you really don't no that person!
-venture |
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submitted: 09/18/08
I agree 100%. I talk with my girl often about these same things. I can say u miss the, "Keeping up with the Jones'". My boo's response to me, alot of time is, "Everybody says" or "Everybody does it". That upsets me, because I am not very argumentative.
-David |
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submitted: 09/16/08
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Where have I heard all this before?.......HHHMMM....the only thing that pertains to me is the having patience part, which I am soooooo working on right now so hopefully it will work......if not, I'm coming to get your a** TC!
-Tia Danielle |
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submitted: 09/16/08
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Very interesting list right here, but you know what, I truly believe that men are the biggest cause of us women flaws.
Top 5 ways men fail:
(1) Being Insecure-- Men basing their past relationships and/or 1st heartbreak to be the reason why he's a womanizer and flat out dog!
(2) Pathological Lying--Look men, women love honesty! Yes, some may not like what you have to say, but at least give us the truth so that we can make our own decisions on how we're going to carry it.
(3) Online Dating/Flirting--- One of the biggest addictions that men are stuck on. It's farely easy, and they feel they can get away with it. Know your addiction, and know that it can and will destroy your relationship if you don't have it under control.
(4) Everyone woman don't want a ruffneck-- Yeah the song was hot, but c'mon... if you're over the age of 27 and you're still rockin' baggy jeans and scullies, then you need to be on the G's to Gents show.
(5) Stop Assuming--- Men always come to the conclusion that all women are the same, just as we do them, but you know what---WE'RE NOT! Why are black women always targeted when it comes to dysfunctional relationships. Give me a break!
-Tyi Flood |
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submitted: 09/15/08
Well my opinion on the ways that men fail is that:
1)They always tryin to step to a woman with a game plan. Alot of men out here are about games and what they can gain or get from a woman and don't approach a women just to get to know her better.
2)You men have insecurities too, it's not just women. I personally have come across a couple. They've been burned in the past and just don't trust women that much anymore.
3)Some of them try to come at you with this type of "You need me more than I need you" type of attitude. That sucks because a relationship is a two-way street, and two people should be able to support each other and be able to depend on each other equally.
And those are some of the reasons why men fail IMO
-Thee_Sis |
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submitted: 09/15/08
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Couldn't agree with you more!!
-CandyNicole |
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submitted: 09/15/08
TC: *smh*
-Toya P. |
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submitted: 09/15/08
there are plenty of good men out there... believe me, i know a few (TC's the Greatest!) *shameless plug*..LOL. i do however agree w/the previous comment. men (not all...just a lot) fail, because they're not honest nor completely upfront w/their intentions. a lot of them are unclear and expect you to decipher exactly what they mean when they've "failed" to explain. men also display insecurities because of their pasts. its not our fault she was crazy/possesive/insecure etc... that should have nothing to do the present that is now.
-ltsknldy |
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submitted: 09/15/08
Real funny yet so true especially #1. As I always say - confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part or article of clothing. And yes ladies please be secure in yourself and your relationship. My husband is something like a local superstar and it's always a chick tryna holla but instead of getting all worked up about it, I smile. Why? Because I am secure with myself and our relationship. And I trust that I don't even have to put a chick in check because he will gladly do so without hesitation. Now that's real talk....
-Mami Collins |
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submitted: 09/15/08
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... *Roger Rabbit* (LOL)
-Toya P. |
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submitted: 09/15/08
Ha, number 1 is the truth. Even as a female i feel the same way about women who show too much. I would do you but not wife you.
People fail when they are not honest about their intentions.
women fail when they try to meet a guy at the club thinking they might have a serious relationship.
Men fail when they pretend to be into the females they met.
If more people were real about what they wanted, then no one would be to blame when it doesnt work. :D
-db |
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submitted: 09/15/08
Good post! Men AND women fail when they are liars IMO!!! everyone has faults but a lie is deliberate... PS. I can't stand the skanky dressed broads, pew wee...
-KB |
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submitted: 09/15/08
u hit the nail on the head with these. but some still won't get it.
-imnina4eva |
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submitted: 09/15/08
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Wow, great post TC. Hmm, where do mean fail you ask? Well, let me first say that the comments I will say do not apply to ALL men. I know there are some good ones out there, they just have not found me yet :o)
So, yesterday before Mommy and I left out of Costco we got some icecream. We take the food to the car and I take the basket back. I saw this worker looking at me when we walked past at first and I had a feeling he would approach me when he saw me alone (and..he did) I drop the basket off and turn around to walk back to the car and I hear "Mmm, can I have some of that icecream?" (the cup was in my hand) I don't turn around, I say to myself "WOW..did he JUST say that to me?" then he says "Uhh, excuse me?". I still don't turn around. I was waiting for him to call me out of my name (like some of them do when a femake does not respond) but he didn't (good for him) So, how do mean fail you ask TC? By how they approah a young lady. A young lady who is educated and a professional at that. I mean what made this man think I would entertain a comment as such?
Also, where men fail is how they view women. Don't look at me as a "bitter woman". Look at me as a young woman that has been hurt in the past by a brother just like you. Try to look past my pain and see who I truly am as a person.
-Candice Nicole |
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submitted: 09/15/08
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Yeah, I know a few women like this. Number 1 is my favorite...ladies please stop it...you 30 plus...
-Nikki |
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submitted: 09/15/08
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a lot of women suffer for this: Being insecure - You hit the nail right on the head.
-Pmatthews |
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submitted: 09/15/08
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Truth to tell, I prefer a woman that looks good in professional attire. ANY woman can look good in provocative gear, but can she play the professional role too? Complete package is best, not the one nighter...unless you are still in that phase :)
A lot of chicks DO tend to carry pas dealings with cats into current dealings...and that creates unnecessary stuff. That was HIM...don't blame US for his BS...guys tend not to do this...dunno why woman do. I mean its 2008. Get over it and move on...
I've seen a woman try to marry a guy like damn near immediately and she was PRESSED about it. The dude was like "why she doin this? Cant we just relax for a while?"
Its funny that chicks complain about the lack of good men...and then they find one and try to press em when they may NOT be ready...its a difference between "discussing" it and "pressing him into it.."
-efromdc |
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submitted: 09/15/08
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wow you are too much as usual but very true!!! This is definitely REAL TALK.
-Pmatthews |
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